Hap's Post
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
我觉得自己很虚伪。 我讨厌虚伪的我。 身边的人好像不是在利用我虚伪的一面，直到我不会发飘而不顾虑我的感受。然而，也有一些人利用我的情绪，利用我那无法忍受的不爽而贬低我。
或许我害怕被取代、害怕不被重视又或者是自卑心在作祟，对人与人之间的相处是有爱有恨。我讨厌身边那些表面上对我不错的人，有些真的无法让我觉得他们是好人。
曾经有人说过因为我把每个人都想的很完美，很善良。所以在他们展现出人类不完美的一面时，我会很失望。失落的我在感到无助时会选择逃辟，封闭自己。
Hap | 7/21/2009 05:08:00 PM
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Had been very emo for last week and this week.
Had my presentation last week, don't think it went well for my part. Although my lectureres had commented that I did well for a part but I don't know lah...
15 Jul 2009
Went to Sakura with some colleagues including my boss. Two of my colleagues are leaving, one for further studies the other for new job. Other then eating we also took some pictures.
17 Jul 2009
Went to Pizza @ PS with some colleagues, it was a farewell but with different group of people. Met a blind person when I was going home. Stayed with him but I left before his bus was here. Singaporean are generally helpful, I left the guy cos I see that there are other people helping him...
The rest of the week is just work and slack. At first I wanted to work seriously, i do not want to be too close to any colleagues, I wanted to stay neutral. However as days passed by, I become emo. Closed up, do not want to talk to anyone. This is bad...
This week
I had wanted to do my best at work again. But the NA at my work place totally turn me off... I am so pissed of with him and don like my boss to treat me this way. Hate it... I did sometime really childish. I hate the NA. Asked me stuff when my boss is not ard, when my boss is around, he don ask me.. ACT like I am not approachable loh. NA, go back to your NA country lah. You better don't ask me anything, I will just say I DON KNOW.
为什么有些人可以很快乐？
要快乐，要先知道自己要什么
如果连这个都不懂，
盲目的努力但总不能另自己开心。 不能向目标前进，
不能替自己争取快乐。
Hap | 7/21/2009 02:32:00 PM
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Hap's Post
Sunday, July 05, 2009
20 Jun 2009
Meet up with a poly fwen at JP. Watched "Drag Me to Hell" OMG, the show is so disgusting. The sticky stick type of saliva, almost make me puke... It was a hororr movie however there were some funny scene in it too... The movie itself was alright, but the students that I am watching with in the same cinema spoilt the show. Had people keep on talking or comment on the movie loudly. Hia...
After that had late lunch, walked ard for while then left. I went to YT for TKD. I am so lousy le... Did some kick and I feel like dying... But I am happy for the speed that i kick after slacking for so long... hehe (:X deciving mysef that I am not bad...)
23 Jun 2009
Met up with SF, YL and for the first time YL's hubby (ZY) joined us. Had dinner at "Tian Le Li" then watched Transformer. Loved the show, hehe, the animation and the accompany were both great. Seldom watch movie with my two gals... MEGAN FOX is so pretty and hot...
05 July 2009
Going to watch "Ice Age 3" with my colleagues later (RC, ZJ, Song, YL, Ah Kam, James, SC, Jack, Nath, My Bro and me) hope it will be nice...
Had been spending my time rushing my work and school work lately other than the outings. Feel lonely and sad sometimes. I had to feel left out, I don't understand why I always have that feeling. May be the problem lies with me... I am always with certain clique no matter where am I, but I always feel left out in the clique. HATE IT TO THE CORE... Somehow, I cannot stop myself from feeling that way...
I am always envy about others... never satisfy with what i have... AM I not having enough or am I asking for too much? I must change my thinking... This is always a part of me that is always bothering me and I never able to change.
Hap | 7/05/2009 11:05:00 AM
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